let it ride away from all this darkness; dakota!

[CLEMENTINE IRENE ROSE]

i wanna see you tonight, dancing in the endless moonlight
in the parking lot in the headlights of cars

someplace over the moon where they moved the drive-in theater
where I left the car that I can't find
that I still got the keys to

[/color][/b]
[/center]

It was finally the day when Dakota would be officially discharged from the hospital wing! Clem was so happy for him and had practically made herself a servant to him during his recovery. Running errands- whether they were asked for or not, renting decent movies to watch in the room, or to the library. She stayed after the visiting hours since she managed to get on all the nurses good side with her charm and compliments to their hair or earrings. She had her skills in acting, after all, she was an addict. But she couldn't hide how destroyed she felt. Still in her head, it was her fault that Dakota nearly died. The snippet of memory of him being hit by that car replayed itself over and over in her mind, never allowing her any peace. The time when she wanted to be clean was when she needed it the most. Could she really quit? So far that conversation hasn't come up between the two. In fact, the conversations of where they stood in this relationship hasn't been discussed either. Dakota was recovering, taking pain medications that had a tendency to make him a little loopy at times, and was facing some physical therapy. But at least, the bruising were fading away into his usual pale color.

Everything was scary. The hit and run, all that he's told her, her responsibility, and how she told him everything when he woke up from his coma. He woke and she broke down to him, apologizing endlessly and feeling the phrases 'it's okay, i forgive you' meant nothing but shallow abused words. She told him, God, she can't believe that she told him her past. It was only fair, he told her about Alice, his life of drugs, alcohol and sex. She had a hard time believing that tale, it sounded like another character. Like devil Stefano, not the sweet innocent Dakota she loved. She saw that Dakota before he was run over. Drunk, drugged, and crazy, full of hatred for her. How can she love him when he hated her like that? How could he love her when he had all that hate? She didn't know. The hate scared her, he scared her even when he was lying in the hospital bed hooked to IVs and bandages. And she still told him, as if fearfully confessing all her sins or something. She told him how she found her father was cheating on her mother and how he made her out to be crazy so he could drug her out to quiet her. She told him how she went to a mental facility at one point. How her brothers both committed suicide all on the same week and how she crashed here out of the desperate need to get away from all the memories and most importantly from him.

It was a deal. She 'gets' help for her eating disorder she felt she's beaten, she gets freedom. Though you could hardly call saint helena institute freedom. What a load of bull shit! But it was the compromise. Her parents can sleep at night with the comforting lie she was okay. She could party... and fall in love. Then it all get complicated again. She didn't want Dakota to die, no matter how she now feared him. She loved him, she'd die for him if it came down to it... The nurse left the room after getting the IV needle out of Dakota. "I'll get your bags." Clementine said, picking up his cases of stuff and clothes she's brought and he's used over the past two weeks here. They were finally out of here. The nurse came back in with a wheel chair. "Rules here are that patient gets rolled out." the rather round nurse with plump cheeks said. Clem smiled at Kota. "Lucky."

OUTFITtop jeans shoe
COMMENTdakotine is back! haha, awkward much? yeah so here it is... hope it's okay! let me know if there's changes needed to be made or somethin'. it's a weird post, i'm sleepy... >>;
LYRICCREDITryan adams

[/blockquote]

[DAKOTA EASTON KENDALL]

The accident was an accident. The car wasn't really supposed to be there, was it? That car surely had to see Dakota. Or had Dakota imagined it? No, when he woke up, when his eyes peeled apart after forever, everything was clear. The hospital equipment that was hooked up to him was no lie, no hallucination. It was hard to really grasp what happened that night, due to the fact that he was fucked up out of his mind. Dakota never knew he could get that angry. He never knew he had so much hate stored up. Had he really ignored it all after Alice? Had Dakota pushed it all away, trying to forget rather than taking care of it? That night was awful. Dakota's anger towards Clemetine was clear and harsh, she knew how he felt in a way he didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to tell her his feelings drunk and drugged off his ass, and also with a sharp tone that Dakota never wanted to use.
It was Dakota's fault. He's pathetic, he couldn't hold onto his emotions, he couldn't keep them in control. But could you blame him? He was putting so much stress on himself, he was in agony. But it was his choice to put it all on himself. But at the same time, he was just hoping for something to change. For Clementine to have an epiphany and realize how much Dakota was doing for her - how much of himself he was losing, and how he needed her more than ever. It was a vicious cycle Dakota put himself through. At Clementine's party, that was the borderline. Dakota only went slightly mad, but only because of the whole Stefano ordeal. He wondered if Stefano was still here. He had been in the hospital for so long, Dakota didn't even know anything about St. Helena's anymore. If the same gossip was going around, if anyone talked about Dakota being such a dumbass, and most of all, Stefano. If he was still waltzing around dealing his drugs and taking pretty girls away from the boys who deserved them the most. And then at the club, Dakota completely lost it. Things were hurting so bad, he resulted in drugs and drinks. His anger and rage took over, no wonder Clementine had pushed him... But it was all different now. Though some things were left unsaid, Dakota knew more about Clementine and that's what he wanted. Clementine knew about him, he knew about her. She knew all about how Dakota felt and what killed him on that day.

Today was not a normal day at the hospital. No waking up the the bright lights and to a nurse helping him around. No waking up to Clementine sleeping in the chair. He was being discharged today and Dakota was slightly afraid. What if everything had changed? Or nothing changed at all? What if the two went back to St. Helena's and Clementine went back to her old ways, leaving Dakota to start that vicious cycle yet again. And that time, he could really end up dead. Being in the hospital had its advantages. Clementine was there day and night, spending time with him, staying there and being for him. But now that he was released, would she abandon him? Dakota let these thoughts circle, he couldn't keep them away. "You don't have to do that..." Dakota replied to Clem's offer. "A nurse will get them..." He trailed off, and watched the round nurse roll in a wheelchair. "Okay, honey, just let me lift you up." Dakota almost laughed as the nurse picked him up and placed him in the wheelchair. But he didn't. He'd have to go through some physical therapy but not quite that much, since the doctors were all focused on his head. When the ambulance arrived that night, all that blood came from his head.

TAG - clem!
OUTFIT - white vneck, mesh shorts, checkered slip on vans. (got lazy xD)
SCRIBBLES - amg! dakota's first post. squeal! i'm excited for this.

[CLEMENTINE IRENE ROSE]

i wanna see you tonight, dancing in the endless moonlight
in the parking lot in the headlights of cars

someplace over the moon where they moved the drive-in theater
where I left the car that I can't find
that I still got the keys to

[/color][/b]
[/center]

He has lost weight, thus how easily the nurse lifted him off from the bed to the wheelchair- though this nurse was on the butch side. The past week has been so bad, so intense. She came here to get away from this stuff. She had considered when the doctor told her that he would be okay, leaving helena. Just pack up her stuff, argue with her parents until she convinced them to let her go anywhere else. Dakota didn't need her. She had been the one almost to kill him, nevermind the crazy driver. It was her fault. She hadn't ever meant to break his heart and cause a self destruction. But didn't Dakota realize she couldn't help him when she herself was dying? Could she really try to save herself to save him? Watching him sit down comfortably in the chair, she wondered if this was a destructive or healthy relationship. Well, he knew she's only known the destructive kind; her father, Stefano. But so did he with his former love. He knows all her secrets, her past and that is overwhelming. She was an addict, they weaved around secrets and tangled anyone who tried to get close. No one gets close. Except he did. He worked through it all, she ran. Then there was an accident. If he had died...

What happens now? She knew all about him and the trust didn't feel deserved. Still, the thought of quitting everything, the drugs, the parties, her dangerous friendships- it all sounded so crazy, so final and more like a fantasy than anything. She's lived her life denying finality, she ran from it. She couldn't go into the drug rehab programs offered here, they might report this to her parents. No way she wanted to deal with them. She came here to get away from them, not give them more reason to worry and whine about their last child self destructing too. What would her dad do? Mom would cry and blame television. But Dakota was a link to the happiness that she missed in the past and an opening for a brighter future. Maybe. Possibly. Was it worth it? She was happy now when she was high. Dakota was asking a completely outrageous.

They walked out of the room. Thank goodness, she hated hospitals with a passion. She remembered the last time she was in one, for her brother. If only he was still alive, things would be so different. She would've never met Stefano or the new kinds of pills. She wouldn't met Dakota. Instead, they would both leave for new york city like they planned. He'd go to college, she'd go to school. They'd start a new life on their own with their parents money supporting them. What are parents for right? Now it was only her and their money. Did Dakota's socialite mother send any money to him? It didn't really matter, she really failed him either way. Just like her parents did. Just, God, everything keeps replaying in her mind. Everything. The wild look Dakota gave her as if she was his murderer, the remains of her brothers motorcycle, the time her brother taught her how to ride their horse Misty... She followed them with a blank gaze into the elevator. "Oh, I'll meet you two down there. I need to get a file." said the nurse, walking swiftly back to her desk. Clem, set down the bags and pressed the button. The doors closed and she felt chocked. Looking away from Dakota, tears began to fill her eyes. She hated hospitals.

OUTFITtop jeans shoe
COMMENTyay me too!
LYRICCREDITryan adams

[/blockquote]

[DAKOTA EASTON KENDALL]

as the nurse walked away, dakota felt uneasy. maybe it was because he was moving around too much, or the new pain killers they had prescribed him were making him dizzy, or maybe the fact that clementine and dakota were all alone for maybe two minutes. anything could be said, anything could be done, anything could not be said, in two minutes. dakota glanced up at clementine, only to see her not facing him. she was looking in the other direction. what could dakota say? this relationship was destructing him... everything was out. they knew each other and the pasts that had ruined them. but what could they do? what could they say? dakota couldn't just start up a normal conversation without thinking about everything else. would things ever be normal between the two? it only started out as a slight worry and dakota was only suspicious...then he caught her smoking, then her party, then the night he went crazy. would they ever form together? would they ever date? would they ever have a healthy relationship?

dakota's eyes fell onto clementine's hand. he reached up, took his index finger and wrapped it around clementine's own index finger. there was nothing to say; dakota's head was empty and there wasn't really anything he could do about it. the nurse was still gone. dakota's mouth opened. "it's about time, right?" he questioned. his other hand was fingering the edge of his notebook, the one with all of his writings in it. the one clementine looked through and found it all. god, this was so scary; just standing here with clementine, touching her hand. who knew what she was thinking. dakota's mind couldn't help but wander to the past. to ryan. would he be having all of these difficulties if dakota had been the one to die in the car accident? would ryan have been forced to go visit their mother, fall into a dangerous relationship; only to be the butt of ridicule and blamed for everything, to have his heart broken, and then to be broken again once he entered saint helena's - to lose his cool to his thoughts, his mind to drugs, to get lost in his past, to almost lose his life to a woman with fuzzy blond hair? he wasn't sure how ryan would take it. ryan was always the happy go lucky guy who thought simplicity was the key to life. and maybe it was, but dakota couldn't ever find that key - and if he did, he never wanted it.

TAG - clem!
OUTFIT - white vneck, mesh shorts, checkered slip on vans. (got lazy xD)
SCRIBBLES - bleh, crap post.

[CLEMENTINE IRENE ROSE]

i wanna see you tonight, dancing in the endless moonlight
in the parking lot in the headlights of cars

someplace over the moon where they moved the drive-in theater
where I left the car that I can't find
that I still got the keys to

[/color][/b]
[/center]

She turned it off, tried to when he said 'It's about time, right?' Was he referring to the nurse disappearing down the hall or them being alone with both of them conscious and not doped up on heavy hospital medicine. He was the one who almost died but she felt like she was still dying. She was such a lost cause, why the hell did Dakota go so bonkers over her? She just didn't get it, not one bit. His hand was intertwined into hers. It's what she's wanted ever since she met him... He was sitting just besides her but he felt so far away or really she was so far away. Would they ever work out? Was there an ever after somewhere over the horizon? From here, it didn't look like it. Didn't Dakota get it? She was a ship wreck, why did he was to get on board when she was just sinking when he was a mess too? Why did he want her to save him? No, a relationship can't go any further if questions like these would always form a barrier between them.

Still feeling slightly chocked in her lungs, she crouched down besides him. She hugged him gently- still afraid that she'd hurt him again. Resting her head on his now frail shoulder, her crazy stupid hair must be impairing his eye sight, but she didn't care. She didn't know if she'd ask questions or say goodbye. "Why did you do it? Why me?" she finally asked, desperate to know why he'd ever like her and go through all this fucking shit over her. It made no sense. Though it didn't mean she didn't love him back just as much. She wasn't selfish enough to put him through the inevitable misery of being with her would bring. But even without being with her, she's brought pain and atrophy. "I'm sorry, you know that right Kota?" she said, referring about everything that's happened.

She was stuck, trapped. Leave him now, they were only bound to repeat the craziness that's happened. Insanity is rooted on repeating things expecting different results. Stay and nothing good will happen. He was different too, things like this change everything. She was somehow different but she didn't know how. More tortured and less naive- less childish and whatever was left of her childish joy surely wasn't going to cut it for her games of pretend that she is happy and carefree. Dakota may have survived but something has died.

OUTFITtop jeans shoe
COMMENTyeah so... it's kinda sorta a little late? O____O hm, yeah sorry?
LYRICCREDITryan adams

[/blockquote]

[DAKOTA EASTON KENDALL]

Dakota was feeling tired. Not physically tired. But emotionally. He was tired of feeling lost in this relationship, tired of wondering if it'd work. Of course it would, why the hell did Dakota go through with all this emotional shit and pain if he wasn't hoping? Only someone wanting to commit emotional suicide would hurt and then leave the girl. No. Dakota was being released from the hospital. He was finally with Clem, even if it took a near death experience. He was finally going to be able to go back to a normal life. Why should he worry? Worry and get stressed. Get stressed and freak out. Freak out, almost die again. That was the cycle Dakota took before he was hit by a car. Now Dakota obviously knew not to take that cycle again. Why couldn't the two let this go? Why couldn't they just be carefree? Possibly because this relationship wasn't normal. There would always be worries nagging and tugging at their mind. But, possibly Dakota could let them go, or not think about them. If anything, Dakota was dragging himself deeper if he was negative. He was being released for God sakes! He finally had Clementine. He just needed to be positive. And so did she. So, if Dakota if positive then possibly Clem will follow the positivity too?

Dakota felt Clem's arms around him, hugging not tightly at all. Dakota frowned at her not hugging him tightly, she was afraid he'd break all over again in her arms if she did so. Dakota's hand fluttered up and landed on Clementine's forearm and pulled his face near her arm. Then she asked the question. Dakota was a little surprised it took her so long to really want the answer, out of curiousity and not frustration or anything like before. Nothing like the screaming matches they had before. When Dakota thought back on the first day he saw Clem, he realized that he felt one hundred years old. It had been so long, but Dakota could remember.

"I loved you from the beginning." Dakota said, simply enough. "Okay, at first it was just lust. I mean, you're beautiful. But I found out so much about you, and enjoyed just being with you whenever we hung out. I realized I wanted to be like that, with you, for the rest of my life. You're the only person who..." He trailed off. He couldn't say that she didn't hurt him - she did, but that's not what he was going to say. "The only person that really cared." Dakota needed to tell her. "Please stay positive. Being negative will drag us both down again." He gripped her forearm slightly.

TAG - clem!
OUTFIT - white vneck, mesh shorts, checkered slip on vans. (got lazy xD)
SCRIBBLES - lol you're sorry your post was late?! mine is soooo late, but enjoy it C:

[CLEMENTINE IRENE ROSE]

i wanna see you tonight, dancing in the endless moonlight
in the parking lot in the headlights of cars

someplace over the moon where they moved the drive-in theater
where I left the car that I can't find
that I still got the keys to

[/color][/b]
[/center]

'I loved you from the beginning' She wasn't buying that, as romantic as that is so she was glad for the supplied explanation which was somehow better than love at first sight. She knew she was beautiful, as horribly vain as that is to claim. But that word had been so tainted in her past. The torturing memories of being called beautiful by her dad when he had touched her.... It had taken on a different meaning completely. Strangely, really strangely, when he said it, he managed to remind her what it meant again. Whatever Dakota said had a way with being true, she believed anything and everything he'd say. It was pure. No matter what Dakota claimed about his past, she knew she had survived through it pure and innocent still. That was just how strong Dakota was. Right? He's made it this far, he was still here and she was his now. There's no turning back now. Not with what's happened and what's been said.

She had been the only one who cared? It was sad. She felt the same way about him. People saw her taken care of, he saw through all that messy fake happiness and saw the real miserable her. To her he was so easy to care about. It's almost an involuntarily motion for her. She remembered when she first saw him. Some twerp she thought but not in a mean way. When they started talking, she remembered how he could make her laugh and how 'twerp' became 'cute as a button'. Can they go back to that? She wondered desperately for an answer as they were so close to each other. She loved being close to him, she truly did. 'Please stay positive. Being negative will drag us both down again'.

Clem knew he was right but she was so exhausted with that. That has been what she's been doing for so long and without drugs now, how will she be able to pull it off now? She knew her brothers would want her to be happy and she certainly didn't want to drag anyone down- especially not Dakota again. She loved him so much that being this close to him hurt a little. She nodded quietly, as if to say 'I'll try, promise.' She would again, for him. The elevator dinged, the door widened open. "Thank you Dakota." she said before standing straight again. He'd understand her appreciation. He loved her and was still wanting this just like she was. They were a 'us', finally. Taking in a deep sigh, summoning all that perky energy she had left in her and she forced a sheepish smile. Hopefully it would convince Dakota. "Ready to see your dorm again?" she asked, wheeling his chair out of the elevator.

OUTFITtop jeans shoe
COMMENT haha. you're always worth the wait tahlia =D
LYRICCREDITryan adams

[/blockquote]

[DAKOTA EASTON KENDALL]

"Thank you for what?" Dakota asked, wondering what Clementine meant. Was she just reacting how she thought she should to his explaination? Or was there something more? Dakota pondered over this before another question hit him. Ready to see your dorm again? The question rang through Dakota's mind, banging every now and then against his skull. Was he ready? He'd been cooped up in a hospital room for so long he had kind of forgotten what it's like on the outside. Able to go wherever he wanted without supervision. Free of hourly visits and every other hour medications. Free of the nasty hospital food. In all honesty, Dakota was scared. For a moment, fear ripped through his body as Clementine wheeled him out and into the hallway. He watched the doors of the dorms sweep by him, his eyes bouncing from one grey door to the next. Was he ready to once again mix with the crowd of students here? Was he ready to talk and laugh with some friends in class? Was he ready to face Clementine with everyone else around? And most of all, was he ready to face Stefano?

At the mention of Stefano in his mind, fear left and anger replaced. That damn asshole. Stefano should know better than to show his face around Dakota ever, ever again. Surely Stefano wasn't the one to blame for the whole fucked-up-emotions-on-drugs-and-hit-by-car mess, but he was a supplier. He was still one, even with Dakota being out for so long. Stefano hasn't changed. And whenever he sees Clementine, he'll offer. And she may not refuse. Though Clem was off the drugs, Dakota knew it'd be hard for her to really be off them. And with temptation around every corner handing out drugs like it was candy, it'd be even harder for her to say no.

And with that thought, fear swept into Dakota's body again. Goosebumps threatened to rise on his arms. Hopefully Clementine will be able to resist. If she can't, who knows what that'll do to Dakota. Clem knows that if she tastes the drugs again, Dakota will destruct. And no one wants Dakota to almost die again - or maybe even die the next time. Dakota knows if he ever found out about her and drugs mixed once more, it may just end up like that. And that scares him even more. Finally, they roll up to Dakota's dorm. Things are probably still the same the day he got hit. That basket of new, clean clothes were probably still on the foot of his bed, that glass still full of dr. pepper, his books and papers from class, still in a messy heap by the dresser. Things aren't different in that room. "Ah, it'll be weird seeing my dorm again." Dakota says, pulling out his key for the door and unlocking the door before swinging it open. And how he just knew all of that stuff would still be there wasn't magic. It was just how it was left before Dakota was changed forever.

TAG - clem!
OUTFIT - white vneck, mesh shorts, checkered slip on vans. (got lazy xD)
SCRIBBLES - yay! glad to hear C: we need a clemota plot bad!

[CLEMENTINE IRENE ROSE]

i wanna see you tonight, dancing in the endless moonlight
in the parking lot in the headlights of cars

someplace over the moon where they moved the drive-in theater
where I left the car that I can't find
that I still got the keys to

[/color][/b]
[/center]

'Thank you for what?' She thought he'd understand what she meant. She smiled faintly, skin pinkening slightly. "For loving me." she explained simply. He would at least understand how much that meant to her especially when no one else in her world offered genuine love. He was the one. She couldn't imagine what would've happen if he died from that wreck or if she'd never met him. She would be dead or dying like she was before the two met. If only her brothers were alive to meet him, they would love him. They would've been a whole new family that knew what love for what it really was. They would envelop their lives to revolve around each other and never abandon each other. But that was the alternative universe. In reality, they both abandoned her and she had abandoned Dakota. This was their last chance to make things right, to tilt the frame back in focus. It was do or die.

Perhaps any psychologist would say this was a destructive relationship or one doomed to fail- it was the type that relied on the other for it's survival. The school taught that find strength within yourself was the key to survival. She disagreed. She had her strength but it wasn't enough all the time. There was a piece too frail to work, Dakota was the missing piece that filled the hole her brothers had left empty. What was more destructive was how she knew they were like a yin yan or ring. It spun around and round, never ending in a vicious cycle. One step out of the line, they'd be sinking in that torrent again. But giving up drugs? Dear Lord, he understood what he was asking of her but it still made her feel alone. Her drugs had been more than a best friend to her over the years. They'd become apart of her. How do you just amputate that with one swing of an ax?

Jack Bauer did it yes, but that hadn't been his hand he was chopping off. As they walked along, she wondered how she was going to be able to do it. She had a nagging feeling that doing it by herself would be setting her up for failurle- after all she hadn't the strength from within like Dr. Phil must preach about. Dakota's dorm door swung open, exposing his room as they remembered. It was practically frozen in the past, when things were a little less complicated. Oh God, it was never not complicated was it? She wheeled him inside and looked around the mess of a room. "I'll help you clean up." she said, walking to the window. It was sunny out. "Dakota, you're going to have to help me. I don't think I can quit by myself, you know?" she said. She was so nervous, thinking of cycles. When things go back to normal and she saw her friends, Stefano, John, Luciana, Olive, Blaze. How was she going to deal with that? They were her friends.

OUTFITtop jeans shoe
COMMENT i don't have any ideasss though! D= i'm going to sleep on it. you keep brain storming k?
LYRICCREDITryan adams

[/blockquote]