this thing called love, i just can't handle it

[CHARLOTTE LOUISE TAYLOR]

If a student were to walk by the music room and peer into the window of the closed door, it would appear no one was inside. The lock on the door was broken, so they could come right on in if they wanted and might continue not to notice anything out of the ordinary. Actually, thats a lie. There were pieces of crumpled paper all over the floor, like someone had been trying to write something down but had gotten frustrated and given up. In their anger someone had balled up many sheets and discarded them thoughtlessly all over the floor. Other than that, nothing was different. Except for the girl balled up in the instrument closet, crying quietly to herself. She was a quiet girl but she couldn't stay quiet forever. If somebody was going to enter the room, they were going to find out she was there, but it didn't matter. She had other things on her mind.

Charlotte had never been more confused in her life. Ever. And this was saying a lot considering her background. Love was something this poor girl could not comprehend and she was terrified and angry at the same time. During her life, Charlie had mostly been alone. She had had a few friends, and people she could rely on to be consistent figures in her life but love wasn't part of her emotionally vocabulary. Not really, anyways, at least when it dealt with people. She loved music. She loved sunrises, she loved hot chocolate. She loved Dallas. But she didn't know how to. This revelation caused a lot of confusion in her poor frazzled brain. First of all, how did people love each other? This part of life had never been introduced to her until now. Second of all, why would he love her back? She was shy and soft spoken, and relied on medication and therapy. She was messed up! Lastly was the possibility of getting hurt. It was already confusing her, but what if they tried and then it didnt work out and she ended up heart broken? It might not be the end of the world, but with no experience whatsoever, the idea terrified her. She was already an emotionally unstable person. What would happen when something that big impacted her life?

Charlie was clueless. So to try and save herself from things she was making up in her head, she had retreated to her safe haven today, after avoiding Dallas for a few days. Maybe if she didnt see him her infatuation, her obsession would fade. Unfortunately, it made things worse. She couldnt stop thinking about him, wondering what it would be like to be with him. What would they do together? What new emotions could they feel together? She'd tried to put all this into a song but her fingers were heavy and clumsy on the keys. Her clammy hands stuck to the ivory. So shed tried to write - hence the novel of paper on the floor. But it hadnt worked out. After a little pounding and venting her frustration in very uncharacteristic ways, she curled up in the dark little closet and started to cry. This seemed to be the norm for her, and she hated it. She wanted to be happy, and loving, but she was absolutely terrified because she didnt know how to love. How could someone possibly love her? Charlotte had also abandoned her depression medication, and she couldnt tell if that was why she was so upset, or if it was making it worse. Honestly, at this point she could care less. The girl felt cold and empty inside, and she didnt know what to do or who to go to. She couldnt go to Dylan. She couldnt talk to her therapist - that was dumb... Plus she only had an appointment once a week. She didnt really have any GIRL friends she could go to. So Charlie was completely and utterly alone. What else was new? Her loneliness made her all the more angry.

[DALLAS BRENT NORRIS]

Blaze was flirting with girls more than usual lately, so Dallas pretty much left him to that. Naturally he went on searching for Charlotte. He waited in the music classes they were both enrolled, she was absent. Around the cafeteria, he waited around but he never saw her. He swore he saw her down the hall, it turned out to be only Clem running around with books for Dakota. He searched everywhere but all his searching went in vain. He quit looking so hard, feeling as if he was some sort of stalker or nut job. Somewhere in the boring afternoon hours, practicing his bass he and a friend Stefano got talking. At least Stefano promised to be entertaining.

But he still wasn't seeing Charlotte! Where the hell was she? After what happened with Dylan, he finally recognized the crush he had for her. This was one bad crush, not the light ones everyone had for Laycie or Clem. This was an infatuation, appreciation and need. She saved his life. Was it bad to feel as if he needed her? When he was around her, he felt so OK. Everything that was OK finally felt so. She didn't fix the problems but she sure was like some anti depressant. He had been so nervous around her until recently. Right when Dallas felt comfortable to get closer to Charlotte, she was retreating away. Had he done something wrong or said something to offend her? He had no idea but he was beginning to feel desperate. What if she didn't like him anymore? He didn't go any further down that road of thought.

Walking to the music room in search of 'borrowing' a cappo, he found the room littered with crumples sheets. It was as if it snowed in here. It was quiet, mostly so. Dallas heard a very subtle sound coming from within, a few more steps took him to find Charlotte in a corner crying. "Charlie? Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, extremely concerned but glad to finally find her nonetheless.

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[CHARLOTTE LOUISE TAYLOR]

Speak of the devil, she heard his voice before she opened her eyes and saw his amazing face right in front of her. It just brought on another wave of sobs and she covered her face whimpering something about not having taken her medication. Maybe she would feel better if she had, but it had been a couple days. And right now she was trapped in the corner, forced to confront her fears. Not that this was a bad thing, but she was incredibly stressed. Charlotte made an attempt to pull herself together. She wiped her cheeks and tried to take some deep breaths but now everything was rushing at her. She wanted to keep running, wanted this to go away. But she had to face it. She DID want to experience legit love, and have a real relationship and a family one day and be NORMAL. But right now she was so lost and confused. She glanced up at him, hopeless and scared but also wanting to be found and helped at the same time.

She took a deep breath again, looking down at her hands. It was not use to try and keep wiping away tears so she gave up and her cheeks were damp once again. She openned her mouth to speak but didnt know what to say so she just tried to curl up as small as possible, feeling absolutely humiliated.

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[DALLAS BRENT NORRIS]

Was thinking her an angel cheesy? They both looked at each other closely. She was sobbing and it shocked him to see her so upset. She was usually so calm and content. He had wondered how she would ever try to commit suicide, unless this was another side that brought her to that state before? He had nearly assumed she had come to make peace with her past to become so peaceful in her demeanor. He didn't say anything, instead came in front of her and got down to her level to where she was sitting. She was trying to pull herself together but looked just as afraid. Afraid of what? He could see that her blue eyes were full of fear before she looked back down at her hands. He put a hand on her shoulder after she made an attempt to say something but failed. "Charlotte, what's wrong? Where have you been the past few days?" he asked, realizing how this was the same thing Blaze used to ask him during his worst depressed times when he tried to hide. "You can tell me you know..." he made a very weak smile that faded quickly. "You saw me on the roof, got me to come down... Let me help you."

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[CHARLOTTE LOUISE TAYLOR]

Charlotte had a few options. She could lie, or she could tell the truth. If she wasn't such a horrible liar she could possibly get away with just telling him she had forgotten to take her meds and was in a really bad funk. But she knew she wouldnt be able to convincingly tell that lie. Why even bother? It would just make it worse and prolong her suffering. She rubbed her eyes again - stalling. She was setting up her mind for accepting the truth she was about to tell him. She was also bracing herself for rejection. Finally, face relatively drier, she spoke - all her words coming out in a rush. "I like you Dallas! and im scared because i dont know how to like somebody or even really be there for people, ive never loved anybody before and no ones loved me. and my only friends have all left me and I dont want that to happen with you!" She kept her eyes low, fixed on the veins in her wrist so her lashes shielded her eyes and she didnt have to see him.

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[DALLAS BRENT NORRIS]

He sat there for a while, waiting for her to say it- anything. Then right when he was ready to accept she wasn't going to say a thing, she blurted out; 'i like you dallas! and i'm scared because i don't know how to like somebody or even really be there for people, i've never loved anybody before and no ones loved me. and my only friends have all left me and don't want that to happen with you!'

Wow... she was looking away and he was too speechless to say anything at first. He exhaled a very shallow laugh, wow. He couldn't believe it! This was... wow! He shook his head. "You were there for me Charlotte. You saved my life and I know you'd do that again." he said, facing the first disagreement with what she said. "I liked you the first time I saw you... I was just afraid you had a weird thing for Dylan. Maybe I was scared, I didn't think you'd like me. You met me when I was about to jump off the roof" he hinted amusement there and looked at her. He wished he could convey how he really felt. All the feelings he had for her, how he felt a grateful loyalty to her. He leaned closer and kissed her.

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[CHARLOTTE LOUISE TAYLOR]

Not thinking, she looked up at him suddenly, opening her mouth to say something but closing it once more as his face moved closer to hers. Charlie had never been kissed before. The only thing she had to compare was the movies - if that counted. But that moment his lips gently touched hers, her brain shut off and her stomach turned itself inside out. She didnt know if she actually kissed him back, she was so shocked by this. It was short and sweet and temporarily relieved at least most of her fears. Charlotte felt better about all this but there was still some paranoia in the back of her head.

Shyly, she looked up at him again. "Im sorry, that was dumb of me" Charlie whispered finally, referring to her hiding and her fears. But surprisingly, no regret was weighing on her mind now. "But i really... dont know the first thing about relationships." that was the only thing that really bothered her now. He had made some good points. In a way they kind of saved each other. They made a good team, even just as friends, and knowing he felt the same way about her was really nice. It took a lot of stress off her shoulders.

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[DALLAS BRENT NORRIS]

The last kiss he ever recieved was at a stupid party back at home when he was trying to fit in with the in crowds of his school. The game was spin the bottle and he got to kiss a girl named Julia. Thank God he gave up with that venture, he was nothing like them and even when he pretended to be it made life boring. Well, it got boring either way. He ended up bored enough to try suicide. That's why he's here...

He couldn't believe the impulse he had to kiss her but he had to. Her lips were as soft as he imagined. He couldn't believe that this could mean a start for them as a couple, not just friends... but he backed away he wondered if he had brought upon himself a rejection. Maybe she would hate him for that, take offense and take back all she said. No, her tears were real, he refused to let control of what he wanted to slip through his fingers like he always allowed. She looked awfully awkward and the second thoughts returned once again.

He smiled and said "I don't either." he said. "But we can't not do this, we can't. We like each other, I'm not going to ignore it anymore. I can't be just friends with you..." so he was really handing it to her. Damn, his heart was beginning to beat rapidly.

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[CHARLOTTE LOUISE TAYLOR]

The passion of his words surprised her but it dawned on Charlotte that he was absolutely right. They liked each other, this was the first time something like this had ever happened for her - and possibly him as well. So letting this chance go by would be a big mistake. She was realizing this now. She almost laughed at how stupid she had been. "It makes so much sense when you say it out loud like that" she mused, sniffling quietly. Now that she had calmed down and he was there she was feeling a lot better. Experimentally, with the smallest shy smile on her face she put her hand in his. Thus marked the beginning of the next big chapter in Charlotte's life. The girl was quiet, taking this all in for a moment and enjoying the warmth of his hand. Suddenly the silence of the room was a little overwhelming. "So... now what?" she breathed.

[DALLAS BRENT NORRIS]

Dallas couldn't remember the last time he felt so strongly about anything. Look around the school and most kids had extremely strong opinions on everything under the sun. What did you expect from kids who were trying to reel back control into their lives? Some of them have complained on Dallas' apathy on the opinions they would passionately argue about. He didn't see much point and preferred to see things from both sides of the story. He was a natural peacemaker who let anything that could within reason, slide.

But this was being handed to him. He just couldn't let this slide. He wanted her and it took her disappearance to prove to himself how much he really needed her. Now what? What do couples do? He smiled, feeling her soft dainty hand in his. "Now we set up a date..." he said, a little uncertainly. He regained his confidence however when he said "Charlotte, would you want to see a movie and have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

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[CHARLOTTE LOUISE TAYLOR]

Charlotte giggled softly, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I would love to" she replied shyly.

whoo-hoo. so.
now what? haha... x3

[CLEMENTINE IRENE ROSE]

A DATE FOR SURE.
or we can fast forward to that whole thing with volunteering/helping out/suicide kid.

[adrian david soloman]

mkay, i think we should deff. do a date first